Saturday, December 19, 2009

I'm really quite hopeful

well i'm trying to be anyways!

it involves a nice boy.
that i think is very nice.
and everyone says he's worth the while..

cept for that wee weird thing that happened..

i dont know!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Sunday, November 29, 2009

fate is trying to intervene.

i just discovered my camera only records for a minute at the most

and i cant find the memory card

this video will be harder to make then i thought...

cept i kinda wrote a song thing.

last night was fun :)
many things happened, i think things have been made better and bridges were built, and i got a kiss which is always grand.
and i've a big bruise on my knee from being thrown on the stage 3 times, and getting thrown up and down in the air.

some gay bitched stole my wine
not impressed.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


im putting a video on youtube of me singing and playing piano, and idk what song to pick.

i'm no regina spektor but its something i enjoy doing :)

help me pick!


Friday, November 6, 2009

waste of space


but i'm starting to think its true

and that theres nothing underneath, and your just shallow.


Thursday, November 5, 2009

oh no ><

i caused a huge fight in the car

and i never meant for it to get that out of hand

and i'm really sorry.

love you.


Monday, November 2, 2009

I wish

i could fine a comfy boy.
as in like.. relaxed. and i can feel fine around them. i wanna feel comfy with them..but still have them make my breath hitch in my throat?

same sense of humour.
awh. that'd be amazing.


Thursday, October 29, 2009

new layout! and a little favour i'd like to ask all 9 of you.

for some reason i have a very limited ammount of things available for posting on this blog.

like changing font sizes and colours, oh well...
new layout! :)
i'm loving the legs.

as a little favour..
i'd love to know what all 9 of you think of my other blog!
is theres any difference between them or whatevz.


do give feedback lovely people.


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

i think i may have lost my Tea Mojo

what do you think about internet "famous" people?

i used to love my tea.

now, not so much.

i should be learning Gaeilge and biology but im just.not.bothered.

and i've a double free before biology tomorrow so..(Y)

i think i've found my way to make music, and if it works out i will be tres content.

i think i'm going through my Veronicas stage again.
them and their infectious melodies, its hard NOT to like.

i think i should broaden my horizons, and make more friends.

starting with certain people.


Monday, October 12, 2009

sup new follower.

i've begun to collect a rather nice we fan base here.

although tbh i started using the other blog first.
you's should read it and tell me which one is better.

i am sick.

dry cough.
phlegmy cough.
fuzzy head.
stiff joints.


Thursday, October 8, 2009

S and M.

awh jesus

tbh bbz i am over it i think

but at the same time still hurts a tad

and idk if it was him or you but like...
its not even just me.
just one day you dissappeared and never came back, and although i miss you i dont think i want to let someone be that close to me only to have them walk in and out like it doesnt bother them at all.

and i know that might just be who you are and you can't change that and i'm not saying its bad..

and you might come back..

but if you did idk if i could just invite you back, because on the one hand..well a month or two ago i wouldve, without any questions.
but i can't just flip to and fro that easily. even if its just you. i dont know if i should be there for somebody, and need them there for me, if its something they can toss away that easily.

and i thought we were almost indestructable,and i was always there if you ever needed me.
i sound like an awful drama queen..
although while i'm writing this its meant to be a much more "it sucks a bit but whatevz bbz" tone

but you'll probably never know about this.


Wednesday, October 7, 2009

top up

bbz's i probably shouldnt be online right now

i've a ginormous irish t est today and i've to leave in 15 minutes.

the slut from outer space is being so annoying
even if im not even talking to her
because its not like i ever do...
but whatevz.
her EXISTENCE hurts my soul.

i have no socks to ut over my tights so my legs are gonna be absolutely fuckin freeeeeeeeezing ><


Saturday, October 3, 2009

Listen Dear.

no bbz, no news on the boys front.

because none are around to want me and i dont want any of them..
apart from the more "together" and well dressed ones that are in like, their 20's.

and i know its dead annoying when girls complain about guys on their blogs but like...
i just feel like it.

because on the one hand i suppose its extremely idealistic to want to wait for the right person and not just settle for somebody because the chances of the right person coming along are slim..
but id like to actually LIKE the person.


im just always dissappointed.


Wednesday, September 30, 2009

yo new follower

i wish i had a house boat
to sail away for days
and nobody would know
because i would never say

i wish i had a house boat
so i wouldnt have no bills
and all id have to worry for
is following the wind

if i had a house boat,
id make tea out of a jug
that id heat up on a flame
and i'd make you your own mug

we'd go sailing, in the deep blue sea
to see what we could, see see see
but i just hope when we sail back home,
you'll keep all of our memories and never let them go

if i had a house boat,
i'd move from place to place
i'd write down every name,
and remember every face

someday i'll have a house boat
i'll take you on a trip
i'll need no tap for water,
so my tap will never drip.


they did nothing but give me belly aches.

so now im back on a normal teenage girl diet of trying to be healthy but then chucking in a few packets of noodles and some chocolate....until november.
for november and december i will be living on a diet of 7up free,diet coke, wholegrain toast WITHOUT BUTTER. or butter once a day. tea with sweeteners. and whatever mammy black gives me for dinner.
but its basically fluids and healthy healthy food from november onwards.
and i found lots of special k 99 calorie snack things today.

but until then


i get to be Roxie Hart.

i get to sing the song and do the monologue...and


Saturday, September 26, 2009

Hotpress- the on off. VOTE.

i went to a lovely musicfest thing today.

i got high on life and danced and went to questionable toilet cubicles to change into my tights when it got cold.

a band threw our some tshirts they made and they were all white except one pink one, and one of the band members requested that i got the pink one, so i felt like a rockstar.

the Fontanels are amazing.

overpriced subway which i didnt have because in every six inch sub theres as much salt as 12 packets of ready salted crisps.

i had half a packet of yummy chips instead, there were lots of little crispy ones.


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

if you wanted to hit anybody in the world, who would it be?

cant wait for saturday!
weird outdoor musicfest thing.

dorothy gale will be there.

20 euro but still..
i cant tell if i'm getting skinnier or not?

i have to look hot.
like majorly.
its hard but i can try.

i'd want to hit a girl i know.


Sunday, September 20, 2009

day 1.

ok, so its the first day :D

and so far i've had..

1 bit of garlic bread (my one bad thing today)

prawn stirfry! it was so yum :)
didnt have much but it really filled me up, and i think the packet of noodles said low fat?

and for breakfast..i had tea and something else..
i think
i actually cant remember if i had breakfast.
i dont usually eat breakfast on weekends anyways, i'm never hungry when i get up!

and i've already had my 2 tab things.

the thing also said i should avoid eating 3-4 hours before bed, which is kinda common knowledge but anyways. and it says in bold capitals DO NOT TAKE BEFORE GOING TO BED. so i better not :L

fingers crossed!



time for Diet Watch

so last night i had lots of bad food, but considering it was the last night i thought it acceptable, and i didnt have much else to eat that day, so these are weird supplement things that kinda taste like black tea, i think thats cuz theres caffeine in them?

i'm hoping i actually lose weight from the places i want to lose weight from, like my hips and legs and stuff, so i'll have to excercise a bit too methinks...

i'm excited :)

My family ruined my lie-in this morning.
i have these amazing blinds that are black and just cut out all the light so it feels like its still nightime, so i wanted to just lie and listen to kings of leon and drift in between sleep and conciousness, but oh no, my family has other mundane demands.
so as you can guess it didnt work out so well cuz i'm online right now.
listening to She&Him.



Saturday, September 19, 2009


Holland and Barret fat metaboliser tablets are here!

i saw lots of skinny models today.

my self esteem hurts.


Friday, September 18, 2009



so i was having a dead skinny day, i mean, i ate barely anything, then socialising ruined it.
amazing strawberry cheescake ice cream, discount chocolate, crisps, free bagels and slushis....



Saturday, September 12, 2009

i think its funny. its not meant to be a good poem. x

i've come to wonder why the only one i trust
has a hard drive for a soul, and does virus scans for fun

and i wish i had a reason, just to smile and say hello
but i dont think i'm a person that you'd ever want to know

you fit exactly right, from head to hips to feet
and i think that its a shame that we'll never really meet.

If only it wasnt for those pesky several years
i'd tell you all my hopes, and tell you all my fears

because i think we'd click so well, and stick like no more nails
but your smart and artsy cool, and i'm an epic fail.

we could sit and talk and laugh, and have superior taste
while everyone around us is of a simply lesser race

and although i'm young and simple, and hopelessly uncool
i cant help but think, i'd be cool if i was with you.




damn you 1993.


Friday, September 11, 2009

vikki blows

you make me feel insecure and inferior.

but you are gorgeous.


Monday, September 7, 2009


you weirdos.

according to mamma, mr. K is gonna love me.

what with my vivid understanding of Hamlets personality.

only 20 more classes til the weekend!

and going to H&B for those crazy fat loss supplement things.

i just saw an ad for a new hospital drama series called "nurse jackie"
my god, ever since ER the hospital dramas have exploded.
theyre everywhere!
and criminal dramas.
but i adore criminal dramas so i'm cool with that.


Sunday, September 6, 2009

Be a better person.

ok, the problems i'm going to fix are:

1.Stop caring about people i dont like.
i have a terrible problem of fixating on people i dont like, well, sometimes, if i really really don't like somebody and everything they do gets really under my skin, i let it, i cant just ignore them. from now on, i will try to be more relaxed and not care.

2.keep the healthy thing going
cuz it was going so well in the its fucked up a bit. but nevertheless, i will try to persevere, and buy those weird fat burning things Crack Whore got in holland and barret.

3.Stop watching movies with really hot geeky guys in them.
because no geeks are like that and its giving me false hope.

4.Really try at 5th year.
so i probably shouldnt be writing this and doing my homework but whatevz.

5. Really really try at the portfolio.
i belong in NCAD.

6. Become a better judge of charachter.
many of my friends have been selfish and only wanted me when they needed me, and i have a bad problem with talking to people who are really psycho but i cant tell until someone points it out.

Friday, September 4, 2009

hello tuesday kid.

feel free to poke around and be nosy, i just never expected people to follow this one..

i'm talking to an awful shallow boy atm, about his stubble growing abilities.



hello tuesday kid.

i'm not meant to have followers on this.

but anyways, i went to da cineema wit romeo and turkish delight and saw inglorious basterds, lots of nazis, lots of english subtitles, lots of killing.
all in all tres tres bien.

i'm sitting in a bathrobe atm, with tea and toast, actually i havent made the tea yet.
dyou know that boiling a kettle wastes lots and lots of electricity?
would it be more efficient to just use a pot an stick it on the stove?
i had to do that once when the power went out and i wanted a cuppa, it was kinda fun
more fun then just flicking the little switch.

x x

Friday, August 28, 2009

i'm in a really good mood right now and i've been in a fabulas mood all day but i feel like a tinsy bit of a bitch, and i'm going to because i CAN.

i hate people that try to be things they arent, and even small things, or people that lie about themselves just to keep an image, like, people that talk about how much of a crazy time they have when they go out but only have one funny story to back it up, stuff like that, i'm like, "why the fuck would you bother?"

people will just think you are a GOBSHITE.

from now on i will always have something about me that stands out.
no more ms. wallpaper.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

i have a follower.

i don't know how this happened, this is meant to be my secret blog, although its not so secret now.

hung with da crew 2day.
orals hair is amazing, missed babushka.

got AMAZING shoes that make me really really tall that i cant walk in.

but theyre still brilliant.

think i'll switch to more public blog..
bye :)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Everyones getting makes it easier to tell stories without outing people.

so things have been a bit upity lately

Fizz Bitch is back, but not for long.
and i saw Gurlfraaaand today and i was dead happy, she bought shoes that smelled of blueberries, they were vivienne westwood, they were the last pair and only 15 yoros, so she was mad happy and a bit giddy all day

theres gonna be camping on monday, but i've heard we're meant to say its on tuesday so all the 12 year old wemos and other fuckers don't turn up and ruin our fun.

and i'm gonna kick it with Romeo and Turkish Delight.
and we'll be really really drunk, hopefully this time some slutty ho-bag won't steal my alcohol.

i hope Battery Acid will be dry and stay home.


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Plenty of Girls and Boys in Love.

da uver blog still aint wurkin.

god i'm in SUCH PAIN..

when your belly says stop eating, you should really stop.

tbh i didnt even eat that much but i'm so so full!
aaagh :L:L
it hurts to move!

so i've been thinking right?
and i think its cuz theres like, no distraction, or somebody proper to focus on.
either way its fuckin annoying :L
ah well, doesnt seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, hasn't done for a while now :L
give it time lol!

ok. the pain is slightly starting to ease :L

x x x

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

cba thinking of an intriguing title for this post

ok so for some reason my other blog won't work

sometimes effy in skins looks an absolute meeeeeeeeeeeess

chris chapple-whiskey bay
and alena..alena somebody, can't remember her second name

good songs anyways :)

if thats the proper names, i just googled lyrics.

deadly, so now you know about this?
and here i thought it was secret!
you should be looking at my profile anyways you big indie :P
sorry about earlier, kinda.
you didnt really deserve it but you did a little bit. for being in the wrong place at the wrong time :L
i'll save all the rest for the next big argument then yeah?

x x x x


and heres me thinking nobody knew about this one.




fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

why now?
why is all this shit happening now?

everything is just collapsing around me right now, and i feel selfish for making this about myself but i just..idk

i mean :(

no oral
no babushka

and i wasted so much time with people who didnt even care about me and now the ones that actually did a little bit are getting up and going somewhere better, and i cant do that and i wish i could so badly

ok, i cant believe you at all, i've never once done anything to you for you to do this and i know "thats just what your like" but that is bollox, cuz your still fucking about with people you hate.

and YOU.

and why i even wasted my time with you i will never know
you gigantic waste of a year.

i would seriously love to beat you in the head, for causing all this fucking mess and making everyone feel so crap and they didnt even deserve it, and its your fault

wtf.. i mean, you're talking AT me, you don't even care and you're not even bothered, why do you bother? to feel good about yourself? am i your ego booster? the fact you need friends to boost your ego is pathetic

this has put everything in perspective

Monday, August 17, 2009


i need to blog

its like an addiction at this stage

so that was a slightly pointless convo.

my head is full of what ifs about the future, food, calories, etc..

idk if how i think about food is healthy or not

starving yourself isnt smart, because then your body thinks that it has to store food and store fat from whatever you eat, and it'll absorbe all the fat from what you eat, which is a bad idea if you slip up and have a huge big mac or something

eat little, and often, lots of chicken would be good cuz its lean meat, full of protein and low in fat.
whole grain carbs, try not eat carbs after 6..

lots of water.

i know all these rules but i rarely follow them, i try, but i wish i didnt have to think so much about what i eat, you have to think so much about everything these days, and i'm scared about college and the future cuz i mean, its all on you, complete independence, and id say i have choices made for me that i don't even know about and then i'll have to make those choices


guys are the last thing on my mind right now.
for once.

Friday, August 14, 2009

People Watching.

I've written on my other blog too often lately, the one people actually see, and as far as i know nobody knows about this one.

Or maybe they do and they just wont tell me cuz they enjoy seeing my more honest posts?

Carpo knows about this one.

i love life changing interactions with strangers. where you kind of have a weird eyes-meeting moment, or whenever you're walking past or in a bus passing by somebody and you notice something, and it could make you smile or laugh or take a second look, but that person has had an impact on your life and they'll never even know it, one occasion when that happened i ended up knowing the person.knowing them well. :)

But its those moments where i bet half the people in the world meet their one and only.

and its kind of sad that a lot of the time people dont even count these moments, i think everybody should write down when these moments happen.

i think i'll copy paste this onto my other blog in a day or two cuz i think this is quite an interesting post.

and theres those people, that you've always noticed, and you've wondered what its like being them?
or maybe thats just me.
but you look at them and think, "i wonder what you're going to do when you go home tonight, do you have a ritual of making tea and then sitting down? do you even drink tea? coffee,maybe?" and half the time i'll bet you'll never know, but at the same time its kind of nice to have an idea of a person even if you don't know them, and if you never know them at least you'll always have a really nice idea of that person and to you they'll always be nice.

And they'll probably never know it.

And then I think, i wonder what my life looks like through other peoples eyes?
Do they even wonder?
Or do they think about people that seem more interesting, or is there somebody out there that thinks my life is something worth wondering about? and its times like those i wish i was a bit more interesting and quirky so that if somebody did wonder, or if somebody was ever walking past me and i didnt notice, I'd make some effect on them, and if I did I'd really like to know that person.

But i wouldnt want to ruin the nice idea.


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Bee Tee Double-you

I'm sooooooooooo over it, it helps i was luckily never under it

because the idea i had was so different to the reality. emo.

you faggot

you idiot



you're just so irritating

you LIAR

i'm so happy that it never started again, so happy, i dont have to deal with your melodramatic crap anymore :L

Friday, August 7, 2009

Hered the day you hoped would never come.

extremely irritating day

but one person just fixed it :)

thankyou so much for being you, and being my sort of person :)

i'm kind of loving this
it was horrible, really, i felt like such an idiot
embarrassed on too many levels, but its the hope that did it
(dont we know well, bbz)
so, heres to giving up hoping.
on you anyways.


Wednesday, August 5, 2009

You're The Honey And The Moon That Lights Up My Night.

ok, i shouldnt be excited about this because tbh i'm well aware i count as nothing

but its kinda like..

a moth to flame thing.


eugh :S

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

i feel a bit pathetic.

because just...ugh.

everybody says theyre there but theyre not,

and i just wish you knew.
but even if you did it wouldnt make a difference and you probably know already but don't care or are trying not to let me know you know it because you want to avoid it because its not something you wish too.