Friday, August 28, 2009

i'm in a really good mood right now and i've been in a fabulas mood all day but i feel like a tinsy bit of a bitch, and i'm going to because i CAN.

i hate people that try to be things they arent, and even small things, or people that lie about themselves just to keep an image, like, people that talk about how much of a crazy time they have when they go out but only have one funny story to back it up, stuff like that, i'm like, "why the fuck would you bother?"

people will just think you are a GOBSHITE.

from now on i will always have something about me that stands out.
no more ms. wallpaper.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

i have a follower.

i don't know how this happened, this is meant to be my secret blog, although its not so secret now.

hung with da crew 2day.
orals hair is amazing, missed babushka.

got AMAZING shoes that make me really really tall that i cant walk in.

but theyre still brilliant.

think i'll switch to more public blog..
bye :)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Everyones getting makes it easier to tell stories without outing people.

so things have been a bit upity lately

Fizz Bitch is back, but not for long.
and i saw Gurlfraaaand today and i was dead happy, she bought shoes that smelled of blueberries, they were vivienne westwood, they were the last pair and only 15 yoros, so she was mad happy and a bit giddy all day

theres gonna be camping on monday, but i've heard we're meant to say its on tuesday so all the 12 year old wemos and other fuckers don't turn up and ruin our fun.

and i'm gonna kick it with Romeo and Turkish Delight.
and we'll be really really drunk, hopefully this time some slutty ho-bag won't steal my alcohol.

i hope Battery Acid will be dry and stay home.


Thursday, August 20, 2009

Plenty of Girls and Boys in Love.

da uver blog still aint wurkin.

god i'm in SUCH PAIN..

when your belly says stop eating, you should really stop.

tbh i didnt even eat that much but i'm so so full!
aaagh :L:L
it hurts to move!

so i've been thinking right?
and i think its cuz theres like, no distraction, or somebody proper to focus on.
either way its fuckin annoying :L
ah well, doesnt seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, hasn't done for a while now :L
give it time lol!

ok. the pain is slightly starting to ease :L

x x x

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

cba thinking of an intriguing title for this post

ok so for some reason my other blog won't work

sometimes effy in skins looks an absolute meeeeeeeeeeeess

chris chapple-whiskey bay
and alena..alena somebody, can't remember her second name

good songs anyways :)

if thats the proper names, i just googled lyrics.

deadly, so now you know about this?
and here i thought it was secret!
you should be looking at my profile anyways you big indie :P
sorry about earlier, kinda.
you didnt really deserve it but you did a little bit. for being in the wrong place at the wrong time :L
i'll save all the rest for the next big argument then yeah?

x x x x


and heres me thinking nobody knew about this one.




fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

why now?
why is all this shit happening now?

everything is just collapsing around me right now, and i feel selfish for making this about myself but i just..idk

i mean :(

no oral
no babushka

and i wasted so much time with people who didnt even care about me and now the ones that actually did a little bit are getting up and going somewhere better, and i cant do that and i wish i could so badly

ok, i cant believe you at all, i've never once done anything to you for you to do this and i know "thats just what your like" but that is bollox, cuz your still fucking about with people you hate.

and YOU.

and why i even wasted my time with you i will never know
you gigantic waste of a year.

i would seriously love to beat you in the head, for causing all this fucking mess and making everyone feel so crap and they didnt even deserve it, and its your fault

wtf.. i mean, you're talking AT me, you don't even care and you're not even bothered, why do you bother? to feel good about yourself? am i your ego booster? the fact you need friends to boost your ego is pathetic

this has put everything in perspective

Monday, August 17, 2009


i need to blog

its like an addiction at this stage

so that was a slightly pointless convo.

my head is full of what ifs about the future, food, calories, etc..

idk if how i think about food is healthy or not

starving yourself isnt smart, because then your body thinks that it has to store food and store fat from whatever you eat, and it'll absorbe all the fat from what you eat, which is a bad idea if you slip up and have a huge big mac or something

eat little, and often, lots of chicken would be good cuz its lean meat, full of protein and low in fat.
whole grain carbs, try not eat carbs after 6..

lots of water.

i know all these rules but i rarely follow them, i try, but i wish i didnt have to think so much about what i eat, you have to think so much about everything these days, and i'm scared about college and the future cuz i mean, its all on you, complete independence, and id say i have choices made for me that i don't even know about and then i'll have to make those choices


guys are the last thing on my mind right now.
for once.

Friday, August 14, 2009

People Watching.

I've written on my other blog too often lately, the one people actually see, and as far as i know nobody knows about this one.

Or maybe they do and they just wont tell me cuz they enjoy seeing my more honest posts?

Carpo knows about this one.

i love life changing interactions with strangers. where you kind of have a weird eyes-meeting moment, or whenever you're walking past or in a bus passing by somebody and you notice something, and it could make you smile or laugh or take a second look, but that person has had an impact on your life and they'll never even know it, one occasion when that happened i ended up knowing the person.knowing them well. :)

But its those moments where i bet half the people in the world meet their one and only.

and its kind of sad that a lot of the time people dont even count these moments, i think everybody should write down when these moments happen.

i think i'll copy paste this onto my other blog in a day or two cuz i think this is quite an interesting post.

and theres those people, that you've always noticed, and you've wondered what its like being them?
or maybe thats just me.
but you look at them and think, "i wonder what you're going to do when you go home tonight, do you have a ritual of making tea and then sitting down? do you even drink tea? coffee,maybe?" and half the time i'll bet you'll never know, but at the same time its kind of nice to have an idea of a person even if you don't know them, and if you never know them at least you'll always have a really nice idea of that person and to you they'll always be nice.

And they'll probably never know it.

And then I think, i wonder what my life looks like through other peoples eyes?
Do they even wonder?
Or do they think about people that seem more interesting, or is there somebody out there that thinks my life is something worth wondering about? and its times like those i wish i was a bit more interesting and quirky so that if somebody did wonder, or if somebody was ever walking past me and i didnt notice, I'd make some effect on them, and if I did I'd really like to know that person.

But i wouldnt want to ruin the nice idea.


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Bee Tee Double-you

I'm sooooooooooo over it, it helps i was luckily never under it

because the idea i had was so different to the reality. emo.

you faggot

you idiot



you're just so irritating

you LIAR

i'm so happy that it never started again, so happy, i dont have to deal with your melodramatic crap anymore :L

Friday, August 7, 2009

Hered the day you hoped would never come.

extremely irritating day

but one person just fixed it :)

thankyou so much for being you, and being my sort of person :)

i'm kind of loving this
it was horrible, really, i felt like such an idiot
embarrassed on too many levels, but its the hope that did it
(dont we know well, bbz)
so, heres to giving up hoping.
on you anyways.


Wednesday, August 5, 2009

You're The Honey And The Moon That Lights Up My Night.

ok, i shouldnt be excited about this because tbh i'm well aware i count as nothing

but its kinda like..

a moth to flame thing.


eugh :S

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

i feel a bit pathetic.

because just...ugh.

everybody says theyre there but theyre not,

and i just wish you knew.
but even if you did it wouldnt make a difference and you probably know already but don't care or are trying not to let me know you know it because you want to avoid it because its not something you wish too.